Haruhi in a Dress!
by Not-So-Little-Dhampir
Summary: This is the first installmen an Ouran Host Club story my friend and I made during school when we were bored.


Tamaki: Oh Haruhi, Daddy's here!

[In Tamaki's mind theater:

Haruhi: Oh Tamaki! *runs into Tamaki's arms*

Tamaki: Oh Haruhi.  
Haruhi: I'm in Love Love!]

Tamaki: *turns red with happiness*

Haruhi: Tamaki-sempai… I thought I said to lay off the instant coffee for a while.

Tamaki: *innocent* I did… *excited* Did you know there are these things called energy drinks? They're right by the commoner's coffee!

Haruhi: -_-# How many did you have?

Tamaki: *thinks* I… can't… remember. 12 maybe… *thinks again*

Haruhi: *sigh* You're restricted from energy drinks now too. Not that you'll want them after you crash.

Tamaki: But Haruhi! I like them! *suddenly the child in the relationship*

Haruhi: We'll see in a couple of hours.

~2 hours pass~

Tamaki: *In corner of woe* Uugghh…

Haruhi: What did I tell you? *secretly laughing*

Tamaki: Don't yell at your father!

Haruhi: I'm not yelling at you sempai… AND YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!

[Tamaki has flown across the room due to the gale that is Haruhi]

Tamaki: NOW HARUHI, YOU LISTEN TO DADDY! I WANT YOU TO START DRESSING LIKE YOU USED TO! *holds up a picture of Haruhi in a dress*

Haruhi: How I dress has nothing to do with you being my "daddy"… AND YOU SHOULDN'T BLOW UP SOMEONE'S PICTURE WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION!

[While Haruhi isn't paying attention:]

Hikaru: Hey Boss,

Kaoru: We have a new game.

Hikaru: The see who can get Haruhi into a dress first game!

Tamaki: That is a sick, twisted game.

Kyouya: The winner can have these. *holds up pictures of Haruhi in a bathing suit*

Tamaki: O_O *his soul leaves his body* HARUHI! I got this dress for you!

Haruhi: *fire appears in her eyes* I'm not wearing the dress.

Tamaki: T_T Haruhi's mad at me!

Hikaru: Hey Haruhi,

Kaoru: Our mother could use some help.

Hikaru: She's making a new dress to compliment a girl with a flat chest

Kaoru: And she needs a model.

Haruhi: There are plenty of girls who have flat chests in this story, I'm sure. AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING FLAT CHESTED?

Kyouya: Haruhi, I'll cut 1/3 of your debt if you wear a dress.

Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki: *gasp!*

Haruhi: . . . Can I have fancy tuna too?

Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki: *look at Kyouya*

Kyouya: *shrug* Why not?

Haruhi: Hmmmm… alright.

Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki: O_O

Kyouya: You have 24 hours.

Haruhi: … 24 hours to what?

Kyouya: Put on a dress.

Haruhi: What if I don't have one?

Tamaki: Here's one Haruhi! *holds up a dress he's wanted her to wear for ever*

Haruhi: *looks at the dress* Kaoru, you said your mom was making a dress?

Kaoru: Yeah, but it won't be ready to wear,

Hikaru: For another two days.

Tamaki: *brimming with happiness*

Haruhi: *sigh* Does the dress _really_ mean that much to you?

Tamaki: *nods* Mmmhmmm

Haruhi: I do really want fancy tuna…

Tamaki: *nods* Mmmhmmm!

Haruhi: …If you stop looking like a begging puppy, then fine.

Tamaki: YAY!! *gives Haruhi the dress and pushes her to changing room* *grabs his camera*

Haruhi* Now…how do I get this thing on… *ends up tearing the dress* Oops…

Tamaki: Come out Haruhi, let Daddy see how pretty you look!

Haruhi: *sweating* Uhh…just a second!

Hikaru: Is there a problem?

Kaoru: I bet she ripped the dress.

Hikaru: We can fix it Haruhi.

Kaoru: Our mom _is_ a designer.

Haruhi: NO!! Don't come in here!

Tamaki: *at the same time* NO! Daddy forbids it!

Hikaru and Kaoru: *shrug* We were just going to help.

Kyouya: I guess she won't get any fancy tuna.

Honey: Poor Haru-chan!

Haruhi: Well… I guess I could open the curtain a little bit. The tear is only in the back…

Tamaki: NOOOOO! Haruhi must not show her back to ruffians! It is inappropriate for a lady to be exposed in front of boys! Especially those shady twins!

Haruhi: Aren't YOU a boy?

Tamaki: *stammers*

Hikaru: Wow…she got you, Boss.

Kaoru: What to say now?

Tamaki: B-but I am your father! It's different.

Haruhi: No…it's not.

Hikaru: The just doesn't want anyone else to see.

Kaoru: You nasty pervert.

Tamaki: I AM NOT A PERVERT!!! . Mommy! Tell them I'm not a pervert!

Kyouya: Well…you _could_ have stopped the game, but you wanted those pictures of Haruhi in a bathing suit so…

Hikaru: That _is_ true.

Kaoru: and you were the first to try and win.

Tamaki: I'M PROTECTING MY LITTLE GIRL'S INNOCENCE! THOSE *points to Hikaru and Kaoru* DOPPELGANGERS ARE THE PERVERTS!!

Haruhi: The only ones who aren't perverted are Mori-sempai and Honey-sempai.

Honey: *giggles*

Mori: …

Renge: *comes up on her rig* Maybe I can help!! I've always wanted to see Haruhi cosplay as a girl!

Tamaki: Yes! Go! *pushes Renge in with sewing stuffs*

Haruhi: *crashing sounds* Hey! Don't do that! I don't think my arm is supposed to bend that way! Ow!

Renge: All done! He's so CUTE as a girl!

Tamaki: *gets his camera ready*

[All hold breath]

Haruhi: Fine, by the way, I think I look ridiculous. *opens curtains* Umm…why is that dog running toward Tamaki?

Tamaki: *not paying attention* Oh my gosh! You look so pretty! *snapping pictures rapidly* Daddy's so proud of you!

[The dog runs at Tamaki who falls, sending the camera flying into a cup of tea]

Tamaki: MY CAMERA! ALL THE PICTURES OF MY HARUHI!!!!!!!

Haruhi: *laughs* Ah well. At least I get my fancy tuna. *continues laughing*

Tamaki: *crying*

Kyouya: Well, I guess that means I win.

Tamaki: NO!!

Kyouya: I got her in the dress didn't I?

Tamaki: B-b-but it was MY dress.

Haruhi: *just to mix up trouble* Renge was the one who _fixed_ the dress.

Kyouya: So we should split them three ways?

Haruhi: *thinks* Somehow I'm surprised the twins didn't find a way of bending the rules and winning.

Hikaru: Hey!

Kaoru: If you're going to split it like that,

Hikaru: It was our idea,

Kaoru: In the first place!

Haruhi: *mutters* I knew it.

Honey: Me and Takashi ate cake!

Kyouya: So that's it then, we all get one.

Renge: Oooooooooh! Haruhi with his shirt off! YAY!! _

Haruhi: Wait… my shirt off? WHAT KIND OF PICTURES ARE THESE?

Kyouya: Let me just go get them from my desk.

Haruhi: What!?!?! NO!

Kyouya: *starts off to his desk*

Tamaki: *sees Haruhi's distress* Have no fear, Haruhi! I shall save you! *flies towards the desk* *grabs the pictures and runs from the room* YOU SHADY TWINS WILL NEVER SEE MY HARUHI IN A BATHING SUIT! *trips on random banana peel and pictures land in a coincidentally placed fireplace* NO!!

Hikaru and Kaoru: Now you've done it, Boss.

Kaoru: Those pictures were valuble!

Hikaru: Way to go, Boss.

Renge: You stupid, idiotic, phony prince! I wanted to see my love in a bathing suit!

[insulting arrows pierce Tamaki's body]

Tamaki: I…NOOOO!!!

Haruhi: I still get my tuna…right?

Kyouya: Well, what do WE get out of it now? All the pictures are gone.

Haruhi:…Honey can give you cake! *hopefully desperate*

Kyouya: Nope.

Haruhi: *sigh* What about having 1/3 of my debt being forgiven?

Kyouya: If I would give you anything it'd be tuna.

Haruhi: bigger sigh* Fine.


End file.
